Rippere

Gun Nut Cracks

KHR — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 14:54:42 +0000

Guest Post from JDA.

I went to a gun show this past weekend. This was not my first gun show…not by a long shot…but I think perhaps it will be my last. Let me provide a bit of personal history to put this into perspective. For most of my adult life, I have been a gun-nut. I owned pistols and a variety of rifles that were all forms of “tactical” weapons, either semi-automatic weapons closely resembling military standard issue, or bolt-action rifles mimicking (closely or loosely) military sniper rifles. I hoarded ammunition. I kept survival gear always at the ready. I constantly imagined scenarios in which the use of these would be useful and/or necessary.Please don’t misunderstand me. I NEVER imagined any of the scenarios that have called this discussion to the national stage. Quite the opposite. I have lived my life trying to help others as much as I can. There is an author who categorized 2 types of people in regards to this; sheepdogs and wolves. I have tried my whole life to be a sheepdog. I have wanted to protect and save people my whole life, from my time in the Navy, to volunteering, to my current profession as a counselor. Many of the scenarios I envisioned in my head had at their core me protecting others…particularly loved ones…or even responding to something like the tragedies that we have recently witnessed to save people.

“So why didn’t you become a police officer?” you might ask. Let’s just say I had previous life experience with being in the role of an informal peace officer, and I found out (based on trusted people’s feedback) that I let it go to my head…ALOT… and that perhaps it would not be the best choice for me (thank god I listened to them!). So instead I acted out my hero fantasies in my head…tried to convince myself that when the time came, I would be ready. In retrospect…I was a poser. I didn’t keep up my skills, I didn’t practice. I just stockpiled toys and imagined scenarios in my head. I imagined that I would be one of the “survivors” should the opportunity arise (and yes…I looked at as an OPPORTUNITY…something to be looked forward too).

Where did all this come from? Why was I like this? Why would this violent type of fantasy appeal to me? Why would it consume my attention and resources, mental, physical, and financial? Good questions all. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know for myself, when it came down to it, and I was honest with myself…it was fear. I was a scared inside. I didn’t trust the world, or my ability to affect it on my own behalf. Combine this with the underlying belief that I could depend on NO ONE else in this world, then my own security was up to me. When one operates from a core that is isolated and fearful, security becomes the PRIMARY motivator. I developed this …model…as a coping mechanism for me fear and lack of trust.

I was not aware of the extent that this frame of reference/coping mechanism played in my head for a long time, but that is what it was. Gradually over the past 10-12 years of trying to work on myself (Because the root causes of the fear and isolation at my core had damaging effects throughout my life…not just this one area) I have become aware of how much energy and time I have spent in this fantasy land, as well as it’s damaging effect upon my psyche. It distracted me from moving forward, fueled my suspicion and distrust, and kept me locked in a negative loop, in that as long as I was engaging in this fantasy, I was NOT working on myself, or facing my demons…it was actually an escape from reality, from pain, and from tough choices. It was a negative coping mechanism.

So If I have come to this realization about myself, why was I at the gun show? Because I’m not all the way there yet…THAT is how…attractive… insidious…and addictive this fantasy can be. Despite having some pretty clear awareness about what it represents in my psyche (or at least THINKING that I have some clear understanding) it still has a hold on me…it is an almost daily struggle to keep it in perspective, to be clear on what my motivations are, and how they are effecting me. I have gone through phases of trying to rid myself of all firearms, or have just one…and then back slid into purchasing another. This happened this past summer, when I purchased a military-style semi-automatic after having just sold my last rifle…it was like I was…compelled. What I think I know now is that I was trying to force change upon myself, and the fearful part of me fought back, and relented in re-acquiring another firearm. But it has
languished in the back of my closet (locked securely) since that time. Just HAVING it was a consolation to my fears.

On the day of the Newton tragedy, I was at work. I came out of a counseling group, and read the news on my tablet. It was only 1-2 hours old. I sat stunned. No other mass shooting has affected me in this manner. Never. Yet here I was floored. Shocked to my core. I didn’t weep, but wanted to. When my office-mate came in (a woman whom I trust and respect immensely) I shared with her the news, and stated my gnawing uncertainty of owning a military-style weapon. She respected that I was uncertain within myself, and didn’t push me in one direction or another (though I know from our conversation that she finds them abhorrent) and just stated that she would be interested to hear how I resolve this dilemma for myself.

So here’s my thinking…the rational that I have arrived at for myself. First, preparing for society’s break-down, the end of the world, or anything in that arena…is pointless. With all the different ways that we humans are screwing with our environment, imagining that should things fall apart, that I will need or be able to defend myself, will be a viable strategy…that things will fall apart in just such a “neat” way as to make this viable…strike me as slim. Second…the assumed purpose of the 2nd Amendment, to provide us, the citizens with the opportunity to change our government should we feel it necessary…bullshit. We have been provided with the inspiration of the Arab Spring these past 2 years…people living under far more restrictive and destructive regimes than ours, who rose up and changed their circumstances. None of these people had nearly the free access to guns we currently have, yet they managed enormous, sweeping changes. Yes Syria is ongoing…and I am uncertain currently how to feel about that. Yes…they are fighting valiantly for freedom… and yes…the current estimate is that 60 THOUSAND people have been killed thus far. Many countries have changed their governments without use of arms (hell…the Italians do it on a regular basis!!). But I
digress. With just these two conclusions on my part, my internal justification for these security blankets (I.E. guns) wanes heavily. BUT…despite these conclusions…I still fight within myself. I am not completely fixed within myself yet, and the need for this form of security still has a corner inside my head, no matter how much I wish it weren’t the case.

So where do I stand, right in this moment? Torn. One side of me wants to take a hack-saw to my weapon…remove it from this world entirely. This would be a very powerful statement for me…as I would be emulating one of the people whom I have respected most in this world…my brother. He spent much of his youth doing things he would not divulge to me, but that he ended up deeply ashamed of. During those years, he had been an avid shooter, at one time becoming a state champion one year. He spent many years afterwards trying to change
himself…to be a better person, and succeeded. And just as he was moving in the direction he finally had desired for himself…he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. But his personal transformation had evolved to the point that the thought of leaving his guns behind when he passed was unacceptable. So when I visited him (at that time, not knowing that it was only 2 weeks before his death) he asked me to take a hack-saw to both of his pistols…even his prized one which he had used to win the state championship. I was reluctant, but if this would make his passing easier, who was I to say no? I did as he asked. To emulate the convictions and certainty of my brother…would be a powerful statement. BUT…

I am currently minimally employed…I am scraping to get by. And due to the current panic in the gun world, I could make a nice profit should sell my weapon and it’s accessories. This is not something to be taken lightly, as they could provide a good portion of a month’s bills, and the time is coming when I might need to sell my house, if things don’t change, so the money is not a light consideration on my part. Other times in my life I have forgone profit to uphold my morals…this time…I fear doing so.

So this was the climate inside my head when I went to the gun show this past weekend. I went…because I used to enjoy them immensely. The tactical paraphernalia, the like-minded people, the feeling that THIS was how I could make myself safe….it was intense. Looking back, I see now that I used to work myself into some kind of self-induced high whenever I went to one. So this time, I was thinking it would be fun…but also interesting to walk around, given the current controversy regarding the role of firearms in our society. Part fun old time, part sociological observation, and part testing the waters should I choose to sell my weapon.

No. Not the case. From the moment I walked in the doors…I was nauseous. Queasy. It was distinctly uncomfortable. The fervor and passion that I had previously basked in…now assaulted my senses. All around me were people who were immersed in the gun culture. I watched…and tried to listen to my internal dialog. There were all sorts of people wandering the hall. Some were readily identifiable as thoroughly immersed in the militaristic segment of the gun culture, based on their clothing, conversations, and choice of weapons. Some SCARILY so. It is also notable that this portion of the culture made up the vast majority of the booths at the show…there were relatively few that were sports/hunting oriented. Many people of course were hard to pigeon-hole, but the ones at the far end of the spectrum were disturbingly evident. I wonder how many were more moderate gun-owners…those into hunting and shooting sports, and more moderate in their views of responsible gun ownership. They were by their nature less easy to identify. I wandered, awash in the self-induced paranoia of the fervent portion of the crowd. The FEAR that “SOMEONE MIGHT TAKE MY GUNS” was rampant…represented in the furious buying before congress can impose regulations, as well as more blatantly in the t-shirts and bumper stickers vocally expressing their fears. “Obama wants your guns” and the like.

I made sure to stay…I walked every inch of that hall…made sure to look at every booth I could. I was uncomfortable, and fascinated by my discomfort. I spoke to almost no one, merely observing. Feeling the pull of my old compulsions…fascinated by the “toys”…and at the same time, repulsed. I wanted one of those “toys”…and I wanted OUT. By the end, it was like I was in sensory overload. Dazed. I drove away, trying to process all that was happening inside me and all that I had observed. I think I am still trying to process it even as I write this. Again, I am speaking for no one but myself. These are elements I am processing as I try to reach some resolution within myself.

Related content:

Better Related Posts Plugin

Hyperskepticism is the Antithesis of Critical Thinking

KHR — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 16:00:07 +0000

What is Hyperskepticism? It is something in my experience that is unique to the atheist, secular and skeptic communities. Fundamentally it is finding only peer reviewed scientific evidence sufficient – or some close proximity. Basically, the highest standard is required all the time. Or there might be some other standard, but it goes undefined and unstated; therefore, I assume the highest standard.

What is critical thinking? Critical thinking, in its broadest sense has been described as “purposeful reflective judgment concerning what to believe or what to do.” In my words, it considering information, data, etc and determining how useful and relevant it is to the topic, decision, etc at hand.

Not all conversations and decisions need the highest standard of evidence to be met for the information to be useful and relevant. Many times, peer reviewed scientific level evidence is not available and/or not warranted.

Human interactions are, generally, not deductive and 100% predictable in the way say a chemistry experiment is. Sweeping aside information (and sometimes people) that doesn’t conform to an ever changing and ephemeral personal standard is silencing. Sweeping aside information (and sometimes people) that doesn’t conform to an unnecessarily stringent standard is silencing. Sweeping aside potentially relevant information before you have determined it’s worth is the antithesis of critical reasoning.

Information that doesn’t meet this standard is not necessarily bad or wrong . . . it is merely that we are less sure of it in one or multiple ways.

Considering the ways that this information may be less sure and determining if it is relevant is critical thinking. Brushing it aside simply because it doesn’t meet the highest standard is juvenile at best.

If we required peer reviewed evidence for everything; nothing would get done. And I mean that literally. How would you get out of bed in the morning? How would you drive down the road? How would you interact with others? Good luck living in reality.

Hyperskepticism pushes people to say that science wouldn’t predict that the sun will rise; that science would only have findings regarding the Earth’s rotation. Really?!?!?! Someone well regarded in the secular community wrote that! To me this is completely absurd. When you end up saying things like this it is difficult to be taken seriously. You are not being a critical thinker; instead you have given up critical reasoning in favor of some personal dogma, or the “Holy Grail” (peer reviewed scientific evidence) in every case. Or maybe only in the cases where someone disagrees with you!

This level of skepticism is, generally, only directed toward others that provide information that someone wishes to silence, diminish, and ostracize.

Denigrating any and all evidence that doesn’t meet some absurd and irrelevant standard is not thinking; it is giving your critical reasoning faculties over to someone else.

In all these ways (and more) hyperskepticism is the opposite of critical thinking and is a pernicious influence in our community. This is simply another tool in the arsenal of bullies.

Related content: