As a woman, I have never struggled with “what does it mean to be a woman.” In my experience, women struggle more with HOW to be a woman, HOW to get it all done, HOW to feel successful in the variety of roles we take on (daughter, sister, mother, coach, volunteer, employee, etc). This of course doesn’t include the small segment of women that tell other women they are not a WOMAN until they have given birth.
I find that there is always a way to slice the pie so that your experience is not relevant. Oh, you don’t have kids? Oh, you don’t have boys? Oh, your not raising kids NOW? Oh, you never worked? Oh, you never drove across country? Oh, you are young? Oh, you are old? Oh, you are blahblahblah? Sometimes these are relevant and sometimes they are simply protective shields so that you can discount another’s input. Nope, I don’t have kids . . . does that mean that I don’t know ANYTHING about kids; NOPE.